Helpful Hint #9: Managing your spouse…sneaking yarn into the house

I will preface by saying that my Sweetums is very supportive of my yarn hi-jinks, so there is really no need to hide anything—we generally make a joke out of this (“Oops—I seem to have MORE yarn in my project bag!), but it occurred to me that the tongue-in-cheek tips below ARE legitimate ways to sneak yarn into your home…

Try to plan for your yarn purchases to enter the house when your spouse is not at home. This may be a little tricky with on-line purchases, but can be suitably planned for if you keep checking the package tracking. Either that, or get packages delivered to you at work. If you don’t work, this is better, because 9 times out of 10, UPS and FedEx deliver during the day (when your spouse is at work). If a package DOES arrive when your spouse is home, race to the door first, exclaiming that “Darn it all, I was hoping your Chrismas/Hanukkah/Birthday/Anniversay present wasn’t going to arrive NOW!” Perfect excuse to wisk said package away into a hiding place without anyone being the wiser. Note: This excuse will only work so many times…and for God’s sake, get RID OF THE PACKAGING somewhere other than your own garbage. Also, use Paypal or some other method of payment that isn’t going to send up red flags.

If it is not an on-line purchase, it is actually a little easier. Just go shopping and get a bunch of other things you need. One more grocery bag isn’t going to arouse any suspicion. If your spouse wants to be helpful and bring in groceries for you, just quickly stuff the Michaels or LYS bag to the back of the trunk (always put bags in the trunk) to pull out later. Make it a point to use old Big Box plastic bags for other things in your trunk and no one looking in there will be suspicious.

And for local purchases, most importantly, always remember: PAY CASH AND BURN THE RECEIPTS!

Another tactic is to simply bring individual skeins in by stuffing them into your WIP bag. No one is going to question more yarn in your project bag. Women in my SnB group sometimes arrive with leftover skeins of yarn they don’t want. Many skeins have made it into my house via the WIP bag.

In order to throw off suspicion, every now and then actually bring a bag of yarn into the house openly. Try not to make it something expensive. Red Heart Super Saver will be much less coronary-inducing than say, qiviut…