My niece wants an afghan

My niece wants an afghan for Christmas.

This is exciting news…usually my relatives never request yarn-related items. No, I take that back. My sister requested knee socks a while back, but I haven’t yet found a pattern that’s easy enough. That’s my lame excuse. Actually, I’m putting it off, as I can’t imagine knitting on #1 dpns for a whole calf’s worth of length. I swear I’ll do it someday!

Anyway, in the meantime, my niece has requested a “blanket.” Upon further inquiry, I figured out she meant a standard-sized afghan, but in earth tones. Now, I’m one of those people who is a “Summer” and I look positively dowdy in earth tones, so I generally don’t have them in my stash. Of course, this can only mean one thing…

TO THE STORE!!!

This got me to thinking of all the excuses we come up with to go yarn shopping, when people around us can already see that we have almost enough yarn to insulate the entire house, even if we moved said house to Siberia.

Excuses:

1) Christmas is coming and you have to make presents. Okay, Christmas isn’t coming for another 11 months, and Uncle Fert may not want another scarf, but a person has to be PREPARED!

2) Someone’s birthday, anniversary, wedding, or baby shower is coming up. Especially if it’s a baby shower—if you knit or crochet, it’s the LAW—you have to make something.

3) In fact, you should have a stock of some sort of baby yarn at all times. If you don’t, go out now and get more!

4) There is a sale at your favorite yarn shop or at one of the stores that make up the Holy Trinity – Michaels, Joann Fabrics, or AC Moore. We don’t have a Hobby Lobby up our way, or I’d probably call them the Four Pillars. Yes, I know the Four Pillars of Destiny are something entirely different, but not to rabid crafters.

5) There is a major STORM coming, and you have to be prepared with enough yarn to “weather” through it. Notice I say “enough.” If you already have what everyone else might see as enough yarn for a three month siege of snow, but you still don’t feel you have enough, then it is your prerogative to go get more. After all, people are all out there getting milk, bread, and eggs they probably don’t need—why shouldn’t you be allowed to go get yarn??? Notice we are not specifying the type of storm…

6) You vow to go on a yarn diet, but then the next day you find out that there is a worthy cause asking for knitted or crocheted donations. I mean, really, wouldn’t it be just HEINOUS to refuse??? Says the person who just got her yarn in the mail to knit a scarf for WomenHeart again this year…

7) And, finally, a dear, kind relative, who has never asked you for ANYTHING, wants an afghan. That’s enough of a reason right there to run out and lay in only the best yarn…