Helpful Hint #9: Managing your spouse…sneaking yarn into the house

I will preface by saying that my Sweetums is very supportive of my yarn hi-jinks, so there is really no need to hide anything—we generally make a joke out of this (“Oops—I seem to have MORE yarn in my project bag!), but it occurred to me that the tongue-in-cheek tips below ARE legitimate ways to sneak yarn into your home…

Try to plan for your yarn purchases to enter the house when your spouse is not at home. This may be a little tricky with on-line purchases, but can be suitably planned for if you keep checking the package tracking. Either that, or get packages delivered to you at work. If you don’t work, this is better, because 9 times out of 10, UPS and FedEx deliver during the day (when your spouse is at work). If a package DOES arrive when your spouse is home, race to the door first, exclaiming that “Darn it all, I was hoping your Chrismas/Hanukkah/Birthday/Anniversay present wasn’t going to arrive NOW!” Perfect excuse to wisk said package away into a hiding place without anyone being the wiser. Note: This excuse will only work so many times…and for God’s sake, get RID OF THE PACKAGING somewhere other than your own garbage. Also, use Paypal or some other method of payment that isn’t going to send up red flags.

If it is not an on-line purchase, it is actually a little easier. Just go shopping and get a bunch of other things you need. One more grocery bag isn’t going to arouse any suspicion. If your spouse wants to be helpful and bring in groceries for you, just quickly stuff the Michaels or LYS bag to the back of the trunk (always put bags in the trunk) to pull out later. Make it a point to use old Big Box plastic bags for other things in your trunk and no one looking in there will be suspicious.

And for local purchases, most importantly, always remember: PAY CASH AND BURN THE RECEIPTS!

Another tactic is to simply bring individual skeins in by stuffing them into your WIP bag. No one is going to question more yarn in your project bag. Women in my SnB group sometimes arrive with leftover skeins of yarn they don’t want. Many skeins have made it into my house via the WIP bag.

In order to throw off suspicion, every now and then actually bring a bag of yarn into the house openly. Try not to make it something expensive. Red Heart Super Saver will be much less coronary-inducing than say, qiviut…

Helpful Hint #7: Managing your spouse…Get them to buy the yarn

In the years AL (Anno Lana – Year of our Wool), I have come across friends and acquaintances with spouses or significant others. These spouses/significant others are either supportive of their better half’s yarn exploits, lukewarm, or downright anti-craft.

I feel that this sort of thing can be managed if one employs a certain degree of–well, I hesitate to say “manipulation.” Let’s just say…persuasion.

One sure-fire way to enlist the help and goodwill of your spouse is to get them in on the project. Ideal projects are some sort of present that neither one of you wants to buy–your spouse, because he/she doesn’t know the recipient very well, and you because you really would rather knit or crochet a present rather than buy one more fondue set or one more Winnie the Pooh-themed baby shower present. You can start by showing your spouse the pattern you want to make (or at least outline what you’d like to accomplish–if your spouse is a man, goals are very important). Explain that if your spouse buys the yarn, you will be more than happy to SLOG along for a good EIGHT weeks, TOILING away on said project, working your FINGERS TO THE BONE. All they have to do is front the money.

If your spouse is agreeable, you can bring them along to the store to get said yarn. My Sweetums usually likes to do this, and can be quite entertaining.  She once declared, in Wal-Mart, in a very loud voice, that I shouldn't buy the blue and pink variegated baby yarn because, “THE BABY COULD HAVE ISSUES.”

Overall, as they love to say in Corporate America, this is a win-win. You get yarn to play with and your spouse gets to avoid shopping for baby things or bridal registry items.

You know they’d much rather go to Home Depot…